Girls Dating App
The best part of dating apps can also be one of the most frustrating. There are new apps being made available every day, claiming to be 'the relationship app' or 'the hookup app.' Despite the marketing, a seemingly endless number of people use these apps for so many different reasons, from those who are new to a city and looking for friends to show them around, to those who are set on finding true love online. What women are looking for on dating apps varies from woman to woman, and is completely dependent on where she is in her life and what her current priorities are.
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While I'm a big advocate of being honest about what you're looking for in relationships early on, people aren't always 100 percent sure of what they want. Even if a person says they're looking for more than just a hookup, that doesn't mean they're really ready to commit. Take it from these women; even if you are upfront about why you're on dating apps, not all of your matches are guaranteed to be as straightforward.
Finding someone on a dating app who is looking for the exact same thing as you are isn't always easy, but it's definitely worth it. Here's the honest truth about what six single women are really hoping to find on dating apps.
This woman is looking for a more serious relationship.
In the past, I used [dating apps] to find friends with benefits. Good sex and a bit of charisma, at the very least. Now however, I use them to try to find a more serious relationship, and even though I advertise that on my profile (and ask men looking for hookups to swipe left), I still get a ton of men who match with me and try to just have a hookup-based relationship. Several dudes in the recent months have initially acted like they, too, wanted relationships, but then revealed within weeks that they just wanted casual sex.
— Olivia, 27
This woman just wants to meet someone she can have fun with.
I recently moved to New York, so I don’t have a lot of expectations just yet. The city is new and so are the people. So if and when I decide to actually commit to a dating app, I really am looking for someone to just have fun with, whether that ends up being a hookup, a short fling, or something more serious.
— Carley, 23
This woman wants to find a boyfriend.
I have profiles on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. What I’m looking for depends on my mood, but ... I do want a boyfriend. I’ve gone on a couple dates and actually ended up 'talking' to someone [from a dating app]. Things didn’t work out, but it was nice to bond with someone.
— Tara, 25
This woman is searching for a friend with benefits.
I’m looking for something more serious than a one night stand, but less serious than a relationship, partially due to the fact that I'm leaving the area and don’t want to get attached to anyone. I haven’t been successful, because I feel that most guys [on dating apps] are looking for a one night stand. I kind of see it as a friends with benefits or no strings attached situation. It’s the best of both worlds: no constant texting, no dates, no holding hands or mushy things, but still friendship with sex.
— Ana*, 23
This woman wants a serious relationship.
I got into online dating after a seven-year relationship ended. After I turned 27, I realized that I'd pretty much maxed out all my social circles — basically, I knew my friends' friends, I'm not in a workplace where I meet a lot of people my age — and that if I wanted to meet new people it'd have to be through an app. I've had multiple successful relationships with men I've met via dating apps, and it's why I'm using it again right now. I'm looking for a serious relationship. I don't advertise that, but depending on which app you use, it's pretty safe to assume that people I'm matching with are looking for the same thing. In the past I've looked for casual relationships or a serious relationship and I've found both via dating apps. Some of these relationships that I had on dating apps have now turned into friendships. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to use dating apps and I could meet people organically, but that's just not my reality right now.
— Sara, 29
This woman is open to anything, but eventually hopes to build to a relationship.
I am on a few dating apps and generally have the outlook of being open to anything, with the goal of building to a relationship. I have talked to several people on the apps and have met with some in person (the ones I seem to gel with the most). I think especially at a younger age, people are less looking for a relationship which is understandable, but can be discouraging. I’ve just gotten back in the game because I stopped for a while. It was just getting tiring. My advice? Don’t resort to just one app. Try many.
— Sidney*, 24
It's easy to get dating app fatigue when you aren't totally sure what you're trying to find. Knowing what you want to get out of using a dating app is the first step to actually meeting someone whose preferences align with yours.
*Name has been changed.
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How To Get A Girl On Dating Apps
'What's your favorite snack besides me?'
Whether or not you ever pictured yourself picking up potential partners on a dating app, it's kind of an inevitable part of the world we live in now. And, depending on who you ask, dating apps are either a stellar resource or a major source of stress. Between figuring out the right questions to ask on a dating app, navigating the unspoken rules about the frequency of messages, and crafting a profile that captures your personality, there’s a lot of thought that goes into a successful dating profile. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the prospect of coming up with dating app questions that will help break the ice, you’re not alone.
“It’s not uncommon for my clients to need help at the beginning of an online flirtation,” says Toronto-based dating expert and breakup coach Natalia Juarez. “We’ll look at a couple profiles that they really like in a session and brainstorm together all the things they could say to this person. Oftentimes my clients just need to talk things through, but then eventually they start self-coaching and it comes a lot more naturally. Once they just see how many possibilities there are for starting a conversation, they feel much better.”
When kicking off a conversation on a dating app, it can also be helpful to have a sense of what you don’t want to do. “Don't be boring,” Juarez cautions. “The ‘Hey, how are you’ and ‘How was your weekend’ opening lines? I can’t believe people are still doing that! It’s so lazy, and you’re making me do all the work!” Instead, Juarez says simply showing a bit of imagination will go a long way.
Country Girls Dating App
In the end, Juarez acknowledges that for many women, the idea of taking the reins of the conversation can be intimidating, especially because women have been socialized to cede control to men. If you struggle with this, Juarez has a solution. Instead of thinking of your opening line as an active pursuit of your match, she says to think of it more as a lure. “It’s a green light, an invitation. With your opening line, you’re saying ‘the door’s open.’ It’s like being at a restaurant, looking over, and smiling at someone. It’s just inviting.”
So go ahead and flash that green light, hit the gas, and cruise on into the flirtationship of your dreams with these clever questions to ask on a dating app.
Remember that episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel make their lists of celebrities that they're allowed to cheat on each other with? Everyone’s got their list, whether they admit it or not. And who cares if the chances of meeting Tessa Thompson and hooking up with her are pretty slim? This flirty question is bound to get the conversation flowing.
You’ll instantly be able to see if you’ve snagged yourself a Nobel Prize–winner who thanks their mom, or a Kids’ Choice Award–winner who says their hero is “me in 10 years” à la 2014 Matthew McConaughey.
When in doubt, get creative and don’t overthink it — it only takes one great question to open up a world of possibilities.
Experts:
Natalia Juarez, breakup and dating coach